I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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