Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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