Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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