dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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