it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
