I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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