Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
bring money and cleavage
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize