my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
