When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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