I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
