My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm at about main and main street
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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