She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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