I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
