Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
