she was so not down for the gang bang
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
