is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
