Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
