Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
