new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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