watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
