She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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