Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
