Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
