NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
