he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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