so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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