At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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