This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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