you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
