i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
