A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize