his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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