I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have fence marks all over my body
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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