The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
