Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
