We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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