sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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