I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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