Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
