ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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