Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
