He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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