I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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