I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
