im drinking this country out of the recession.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
