I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
