She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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