Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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