its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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