i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
