After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
