ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
